


The Words Not Spoken

by Cake_isnt_pie_sam



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Did I Mention Angst?, M/M, Unrequited Love, Wincest - Freeform, ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:19:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2172507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cake_isnt_pie_sam/pseuds/Cake_isnt_pie_sam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the things Dean couldn't say out loud to his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Words Not Spoken

**Author's Note:**

> (I don't own SPN, the boys, or Stanford. I just have a lot of feelings. Comments appreciated!)

Sammy catches Dean in the hallway kissing a girl.

_'I don't even know her name,'_ his frown tells Sam. ‘ _She’s not you.’_

She’ll never be Sam. He can’t say that out loud. Never.

**He doesn’t know that Sam wonders if he’s finally been replaced.**

 

Sammy says he’s gonna go to Stanford. Gonna make something of his life.

_”Please_ ,’ the word sits on the tip of his tongue. _‘Don’t go.’_

He doesn’t tell Sam not to, though. He doesn’t want to hold him back. Not anymore.

**He’ll never know that all he needed to keep from leaving was “stay,” and Sam would have.**

 

Late-night phone calls and neither of them know what to say.

_'I miss you',_ the phrase burns at the back of his throat. ‘ _Come home.’_

He doesn’t say it out loud. The silence over the phone line buzzes in his ear.

**He can’t see Sam’s white-knuckled grip on the telephone, the tears in his eyes.**

 

Dad’s missing. It gives Dean a reason to go see Sam.

_'Come be a family again,'_ the thought makes him shiver. ‘ _For God’s sakes, stay.’_

While he doesn’t voice the words, he hopes Sam does anyway.

**He’s not aware of the violent chills that run through Sam when they lock eyes.**

 

Sammy tells him he can’t stick around. Got some hot-shot interview in the morning.

‘ _What’s more important than this?’_ the question makes his stomach burn. ‘ _You need to be here.’_

He won’t ask it, though. He smiles and nods. Drives away even though it don’t feel right.

**He doesn’t see Sam’s eyes blink back tears. Doesn’t understand that it’s different now.**

 

Sam’s having nightmares about his dead girlfriend. Dean knows he can’t help.

_'I'm glad you're home',_ he refuses to say. ‘ _It hasn’t been the same without you.’_

The guilty words stay behind closed lips. The words are lost in guitar solos from old speakers.

**He doesn’t see that Jess isn’t only unattainable person that haunts Sam’s dreams.**

 

Sammy’s dying on his knees under a full moon. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

_'I just got you back,'_ the words strangle in his throat. ‘ _You can’t leave me now.’_

He chokes on the first word. It’s all his fault and now his brother’s dead.

**He doesn’t understand that Sam would do it all over again for him.**

 

It’s been a few days. No amount of mojo will bring Sammy back.

‘ _I need you,’_ the silent words hang in the corner of his mouth like day-old blood. ‘ _Wish it was me.’_

He wants to scream them at the walls. He’s collapsing in on himself. _Why, why, why?_

**He can’t know that Sam’s heaven is of Dean and starry nights. That still, nothing beats the real thing.**

 

He makes a deal with one of Hell’s bitches. Sammy’s worth it.

‘ _It’s okay,’_ he wants to tell Sam. ‘ _It’s all for you.’_

After all, it’s always been. If Sam’s the reason for livin’, then he sure as hell’s a good reason for dyin’.

**He doesn’t see that, after opening his eyes for the first time in days, the first thing Sam looks for is Dean.**

 

The clock is ticking, but it doesn’t matter. Sammy’s okay and in his arms.

‘ _I love you_ ,’ the unsaid words hang off his parted lips. ‘ _Don’t let go_.’

Though he doesn’t say the words out loud, the message is loud and clear.

"Me, too, Dean," Sam exhales.

**He’ll never know that Sam’s always been his.**


End file.
